The photo below shows a graduate student lying down next to a king snake eel, which is a beast that exists in our world.

https://twitter.com/salincoln/status/497205727766007808/

It is not clear what this graduate student is studying that would result in her next to this thing, but I’m guessing she’s getting her Master’s in “Monsters, Nightmares and the Horrors of the Deep.”

If you’re new to this whole Fish the Win thing, it’s basically a part of our site where I tell readers that the ocean is full of things that want to eat you. This is Exhibit 243 in my case against the sea, and I hope people are starting to listen. I know it is summer. I know water is refreshing. But here’s the thing: Don’t go in the ocean. It is filled, brimming, chock full o’, overflowing with creatures like this. They are large and slimy and want nothing more than to have you as a mid-morning snack.

Some people out there like lifeguards or “marine biologists” might disagree with me on this, but believe me when I say that they are part of a larger conspiracy. They are working with the fish. Don’t listen to them.

Just remember this face:

https://twitter.com/salincoln/status/497205727766007808/

And stay on the land, where we all belong. Sermon over.